Welcome to the RAWdtrip
In my experience, as soon as life chills out, and I feel I know how to navigate it slowly easing into autopilot, my brain relaxes, and my knees begin to shake. This mind-body disconnect is due to the fact that my human being knows life is completely unpredictable, that we are never in control of anything really, yet my neurons enjoy pretending and playing house.
I take deep breaths and ignore the earthquakes in my solar plexus as my dendrites delete red flags, and suppress scares. I skitter around the forest barefoot bare-boned barely branching out from the present time, and that's how I remain peaceful, happy, and calm.
Yet if I think back to compare the facts, again and again, and now, as soon as I decide on a long term plan, pulled from underneath the rug!
I close my eyes and I am surrounded my mouthing teeth and tongues, blabbering "settle down" youth is a waste of time, the clock is a tool for us to mimic, mourn, and monetize, and something in me feels urgency so I try, again, and I try so much, but nothing sticks.
Not renting an apartment for a year, not landing a job that sounds made for me on paper, not falling in love with the deepest of my senses, simply because I guess I am still searching.
In part for those pieces of myself buried by burden, conditioned since birth, and in part for a combination of the resources I long for in order to thrive.
Recently, I almost let myself think that I was asking for too much. I felt so thankful having found community in Boston, my soul was so satisfied that I decided to disregard my body somehow. But the core of my traveling missions for the past 7 years have been about health, compassion and love, in mind, body and soul.
I have been on this journey of detoxing from S.A.D the standard american diet, and finally I feel balanced, eating living foods for this living body, and so my physical body must be located somewhere I can pick fruit from the trees around me. No matter how much this fact interferes with the rest of my plans, it still remains a priority, so here I am on the road, once more.
This time though, post Woodstock Fruit Festival (a raw vegan compassionate, conscious, gathering) I am supported and surrounded by other fruit bats stoked to come along in this RAWdtrip across the states! on our way to finding a location where we can effortlessly combine, community, comida, and maybe some good kombucha!
After my reality check at Woodstock, I believe this is possible, and that I am not asking for too much.
So here we are in Austin, TX, feeling really at home, surrounded by incredible produce, a huge raw vegan community, and many opportunities ahead. I am excited to check out CA, and OR, and although my heart is heavy missing my friends and fruityfam in Boston, I will hope that things will unravel how they should, as long as I stay true and present, and aware of keeping myself balanced in a wholesome way.
On the last note, I want to share a spoken word bit I wrote yesterday about all of these feelings combined, thank you for reading.
Rock n RAW with it! you can check out our youtube channel for videos from the Cross-country RAWdtrip below :)
I am stillness In motion Carried by metal and rubber and options. This world is contortions. We skip past all lives, in one town, supported by freedom, time is just time. I am moss and erosion. Vitality is warm, then chilled to the bone, when i think of destruction. We are beauty and yarn dolls, dancers and scars of, phantom deductions, memories muffle, i hold on to action, words are just art, no, they craft all your mind, and the mystery of life, made up of dimes, no, i choose to be broken, and then liquified, so, i melt all the nonsense, and still i am one, soul, the same you feel soften, your eyes when you smile, now, i feel all the space, of this earth on my legs. I walk south and west and the east tastes like grapes. I om when im wind, to come back to rest, my fingers feel long, the wrap up my face, the back of my skull can sink in these days, still something in me says go swim in the sea, so how could i not just be what feels me? And what that might be, its not something keen, i cave in within, and morph like those films, the ones that dont make sense but cant be unseen, unheard of this weight that we drag through our arteries, scribbled in diaries, cried out into a fridge, the majestic moon, an eclipse of wounds, cellophane layers of cellular dunes, is glass always pure? When granular cumulus of dirt patches pink and musk mix and just arid dry, holding our heels, hot and in sync on sand. Deep breathing heals then, Sun soaks and bathtub days, Teeth fill up your mouth space, noses that glow under love craze, I am a rock piece, billions of years, grey and then pigment, Emerald golden, tangerine longing, amethyst moments, burgundy bloodshot eyes, cry, light blue lasting calm hearts, all the madness of the rainbow stardust, i am here to feel all of life now.