top of page
This site was designed with the
.com
website builder. Create your website today.Start Now

Damn Millennial Semi-Apocalyptic Lifecycle so Terrifying and Beautiful


Today I can say a few things I never thought I would say in my life... for example, that I owe a lot of my health progress to certain technologies such as phones, cameras, and even instagram :O what!? yes.. I have been called out by a friend on becoming one of those insta girls I used to hate on lol and it is sooo true. All I can say is touche, and hellz yeah!

I am so proud of feeling so in my skin for the first time in a decade that I can freely blog and post about my life without any self consciousness at all. Also, I have re-discovered a forgotten love for the art of photography and video making! I love being able to use all of my creative talents and outlets in a magical blender of coding and crafting, ending up with some slightly curated IG feed made of loving art.

I get to dance and hoop and yoga and run around being my free spirited self, as well as stage beautiful shots with the help of nature, using my body, my mind, and my soul to come up with thoughtful captions, and complete compositions of self expression on social media.

For a past tense tech hater I say this is quite liberating and wonderful.

Once upon a while back and such, I was fighting all of it! Myself, the environment around me, and so I felt everything was fighting me back.

I used to be so unhappy in cities, and in general to be honest! I mean I still prefer to live in the jungle, a bit more disconnected, but before I was simply unable to find any type of peace or balance when living in the mega matrix, and feeling so trapped in my thoughts.

Today I can say that at least I find things I enjoy about this interweb of asphalt and screens and little green patches here and there that I treasure more than gold :)

I had stopped taking photos with a camera at one point because data downloads and storage stressed me out. I stopped writing poetry because in my minimalistic journey I did not want to deal with keeping papers or journals or documents on my computer, I stopped posting pictures of the incredible places I was visiting while backpacking because I was afraid and self conscious of how this would appear to others. All of this was deeply rooted in a lack of acceptance of myself.

Today I am able to have fun with social media, and use things like fb and ig to my advantage as creative outlets. I have re-discovered the Communication / Marketing / Writing major I was in college, and the passion that first drove me to dive into this world of humans socializing with one another through various venues and methods.

It might seem crazy to have these types of realizations just from being called out on spending too much time posting things on Instagram, and it might also have a bit to do with the fact that I stopped blazing the green that was clouding my mind a bit (when it went from constructive and creative to hazy and couch potatoey, no dissing on this wonderful herb of enlightenment ) but honestly, spending time worrying about how others perceive you is a waste of time for everyone involved.

At the end of the day, those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind right. Those who know me or appreciate and see that I am an explosion of creative energy in all shapes and forms, will continue to do so, and those who do not, might continue to judge or perhaps change their mind someday, regardless, I find that lately I spend more time being curious about other human's perspectives of life on this pale blue dot, and less time judging them. I am learning so much about embracing everyones expressions as they come, and using my wondering lens, rather than my judgmental one.

I have also been paying attention to all of these waves of life and remembering the non permanence of these. I know once I have a more demanding job in a few months I will not have the luxury to spend hours of leisure online, and I know when I return to nature, I will distance myself again from these techy things. More than anything, I am thankful for being able to find joy in anything and everything, and this level of balance I could never reach before.

I still have all of the other waves too, the wtf is this feeling I have never sensed before, and the why is the sky so grey and the damn millennial semi-apocalyptic lifecycle so terrifying and beautiful waves, but at least now I am able to use my environment to my advantage, instead of spending all of my energy disliking it and judging it and everyone else as well as myself.

I think that when we look at other people's posts, or life, on and off line, with the critical eye of judgmental meanness, we are either analyzing something about ourselves, or scared of second guessing our moral guidelines and how we were brought up. Anything that goes against our understanding of normal and "correct" or adequate, reflects back on our output into the world, and so our inner conversation with ourselves.

I just think it is so much easier to look at the world with a curious open heart, than to spend our precious energy deciding who is right about something or other.

Let's raise each other's vibration! Support one another, or at the very least keep that vivid curiosity and wonder alive! Let's soften our hearts and our faces, and giggle a bit more, be a bit more silly, get a bit more muddy, let's relax into these borrowed bodies from mother earth and remember that we all have bones and toothaches and crushes and disillusions and thirst and passion, and huger for acceptance. We are LOVE, so let's EVOLve and launch into this rEVOLution, together, because it is simpler, and nicer, and all of those fuzzy things that make our days worth living.

bottom of page